Introduction

In the Prasna Upanishad (Upanishad means to be near, with determination to change and Prasna means to ask), there are 6 students who come from afar to ask a question to the guru. The guru says before you ask your question, you have to live and serve here for 1 year. After that, I may answer your question. The reason the guru asks them to live and serve for 1 year first is so that they are engaged in manana, so they can get better at shravana. He says he may answer the question out of humility; the guru knows that only if the Divine guide wants this question to be answered, it will be. All the students stayed for the 1-year period. 

Question 1

How do I teach my 24 teachers (from Srimad Bhagavatam) to the little girls at Chinmaya Vijaya that do not have families, not to be attached to families or materials?

Vivekji’s Response
The ocean teaches balance because it does not rise or fall; but ocean levels are rising, so this statement has to be modified to reality. Teach them that everything in life is changing; so instead of depending on things that are changing, become independent and learn to depend on themselves. Let go of that which is smaller to hold on to that which is bigger/more important. For example, in an argument, because the relationship is more valuable, let go of the argument. 

Question 2

Tapas teaches us to burn away our identification, comfort zones and distractions.  As parents, should we burn away our identity as parents/caregivers and just see ourselves as seekers? Will this not get in the way of us doing our responsibilities as parents?

Vivekji’s Response

In Mano Shodanam, tapa is a way to purify our minds, by burning our identity (high level), comforts (relative level), and distractions (tactile level). 

At a higher level, if your responsibility is for the community, it automatically includes your family. But vice versa is not true. If your identity is a seeker (to expand bigger than what you already identify with), then your identity as parent is already included in that. 

At a lower level, if we burn our identity as a parent, you’re adding more identities (as parents to other children etc.). Identifying with some (favoritism) is attachment. Identifying with all (impartial) is detachment. Back in the day, parents had many children, and their attention was split across all. So the children did not get unhealthy amounts of attention. Now, this is not true – children get so much attention that it rattles parents when they become teenagers and children are not children anymore. This is why we have to spread our purpose. Unless we try it, it wil not make sense. 

Question 3

Why do we tie a red thread at rakhi/pujas? 

Vivekji’s Response

When you’re 6-12 years old, parents take their children to a gurukula and hand them over to an acharya. This samskara is called Upanayana (“near lead”, i.e. parents lead their child to the family guide). This includes wearing 9 threads (simplified as 3) from the left shoulder downwards across one’s body. The 3 threads (body/mind/intellect) should help the wearer feel Brahman/the infinite (called Brahma Granti). 

This separates the body into 2 parts – lower part towards the genitals/stomach and higher part towards the heart/head. This signifies going from a child to a student. For a child, it is ok to engage in pleasure but not for a student. 

The red thread symbolizes one’s bond with the Divine. 

Question 4

I lost my sister and I’m grieving. Should I spend more time with my other siblings or detach myself from others and look inwards? 

Vivekji’s Response

The word ashram means to put in maximum effort. The physical place encourages simple living, but more than that it encourages high thinking. We can have many relationships but still be detached. Our attitude / involvement is what becomes problematic, not the relationship itself. 

If you have one hour, give your time to God as this is the relationship that will continue to the next lifetime. If you have two hours, give one to your family and appreciate them, without needing anything more from that relationship. 

Question 5

How should we be reflecting about the end of the year and how should we plan? 

Vivekji’s Response

As a sadhaka, time means nothing. One should do their best in sadhana, self-development at all times. Try not to give emphasis to the past or future, stay in the present and do your best. 

As a sevika, whatever seva you’ve done, solidify and push more/expand. How will you grow in helping creation? 

Question 6

Are ashramas distractions? Are the identification to the roles we are playing keeping us away from our true goals? 

Vivekji’s Response

The word ashrama has two interpretations – one is a physical space (e.g. Sandeepani), other is the phase of life, i.e. time-based (e.g. grhasta, vanaprasta). Raja Janaka is referring to the time based ashrama. The different ashramas only mean you are intensifying your efforts to get closer to the divine. It is a continuum, not mutually exclusive. Raja Janaka is an exception to this as the continuum doesn’t apply to him. For us, ashrama is a gauge of our intensity that cannot be measured externally. 

Question 7

I want to serve Bhagavan when I am old, but worry that my old age might inhibit me in doing so physically/mentally. I do not think it is right to be dependent on others in my old age. Am I right in my thinking? 

Vivekji’s Response

You are thinking too far ahead as so much will change in terms of your feelings. If you choose God, it is ‘as if’ God will choose you more. God does not actually choose anyone more. It will just be more natural as the Divine will look after you. Dependency then is a functional term, as you are depending on God. 

Having relationships is not a challenge, it is a good test if you can be loving without being dependent. If you are never in one, you are never being tested. 

Reflection 

What do you need to fast from? And why?