Introduction: Prayer is very important. I’ve seen in many classes, when the teacher is doing prayer, students are quiet. You should also do the prayer, because you have a connection with the same God which the teacher has. There are some prayers which we must chant together like om Sahana vatu. Sa means both. So it means that God gives a clear indication to ask questions. Also he gives clear indications to the teacher to connect. What happened? The class is over. So prayer, invocation, mangalam these are the different names are very, very important.
Question 1
I’m a young adult in my profession, currently living at home with my parents. In our Indian culture, we’re taught to deeply respect and look up to our parents, and I feel very close to mine. Recently though, as I’ve been learning more about Vedantic principles through classes and satsangs, I’ve been reflecting on how to apply those teachings in daily life.
For example, my father often encourages me to focus on increasing my salary or finding a higher-paying job. I know he has my best interests at heart, but what I’ve been learning emphasizes investing in matters of faith and inner growth over external success. It teaches that true happiness comes from within, not from worldly accomplishments.
Similarly, my mother recently received a very prestigious award at work. I was genuinely proud and happy for her, but my grandmother often tells me to show guests the award and talk about it. Part of me feels conflicted, because Vedantic teachings remind us not to become attached to material achievements or recognition.
So, I find myself caught between honoring my family’s values and applying what I’m learning spiritually. How can I reconcile this difference continuing to respect and love my elders while staying true to the Vedantic principles I’m trying to live by?
Vijayji’s Response
Our parents are always our well-wishers. However, when we reach around 17, 18, or 19 years of age, our prārabdha, our individual destiny, begins to unfold differently. At that stage, no parent can fully guide every step of our path; we must start finding our own formula for life.
Let me share two examples.
The first is of a real estate agent. A real estate agent is hired by the seller, but if he focuses only on pleasing the seller, he cannot successfully sell the house. He must also understand and satisfy the needs of the buyer. In the same way, we too must learn to balance the expectations of others while staying true to our own duties.
The second example is of a girl who grows up in her parents’ home and later moves into her husband’s family. She has responsibilities toward both homes, and must learn how to harmonize them wisely.
Life actually becomes simple when we understand it but it feels complicated when we don’t. Listen to your parents, but also act according to dharma and the stage of life you are in.
Your parents want you to be successful and earn well and that’s good. Money does bring happiness, but it is what we call objective happiness. Vedanta does not reject that; it simply reminds us not to depend on it completely. We need money, a job, and good relationships with our bosses and coworkers. These are part of living in the world. But we should remember that true, lasting happiness is not outside; it is within.
Now, about your Nani and your mother, what you’re experiencing is partly a generation gap. Your Nani wants to express pride and joy by showing your mother’s award. You want to live by detachment and inner focus. Both are valid in their own contexts. If you can express pride and joy politely while maintaining your understanding, do it with grace.
When you live in your parents’ home, you naturally follow their rules and ways. For example, when Vivek-ji and his wife, Sheila, come to have lunch at my house with their children, my grandchildren sometimes want to behave as they do at their own home. I tell them gently, “This is my home, my rules apply here. You can follow your rules in your own house.” In the same way, while you live with your parents, follow their household customs respectfully. When you move out and have your own space, you’ll be able to set your own rhythm and practices.
You brought up many good points, but it’s important not to overcomplicate things. Ask one or two questions at a time and reflect on them deeply.
So, to summarize your key points:
- Yes, earn money. It brings necessary, objective happiness.
- Yes, follow Vedantic principles. They lead to inner happiness.
- Respect the rules and values of your home while you live there.
- When you live independently, you’ll discover your own balance between the outer and inner worlds.
Reflect on these and continue your journey . You’re on the right path.
Question 2
We were discussing Hanuman Ji and the Ramayana in our Grade 1–2 class, and sometimes the children ask questions that are difficult to explain. Last week I had a similar question for Vijay-ji, but this time it came up while talking with slightly older kids.
They asked about King Dasharatha and the story of Shravan Kumar. As we know, Dasharatha accidentally shot Shravan Kumar with an arrow, mistaking him for an animal. When he realized his mistake, he went to Shravan Kumar’s parents, apologized sincerely, and even offered to care for them himself. But despite his repentance, the parents cursed him, and the text says that they later entered the fire and gave up their lives.
When the children heard this, they were confused. They asked, “If Dasharatha accepted his mistake and apologized, why was he still punished? Wouldn’t it have been better if he had lied and said he simply found Shravan Kumar dead? Then he wouldn’t have been cursed.”
I wasn’t sure how to explain this concept in a way that children could understand. How can we help them see the deeper meaning of this story that even when a mistake is unintentional, and even when we admit it, there can still be consequences and that truth and dharma still matter most?
Vijayji’s Response
Newton discovered a universal law: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. No one creates such laws, not a person, not a group. These laws are discovered, not invented. Just as gravity exists naturally, so does the moral law of action and reaction, which we call karma.
When someone commits an act whether intentional or accidental there are always consequences. Even in human law, we recognize degrees: first-degree murder, second-degree, manslaughter, self-defense, or an accident. But in every case, there is still a result, because the action itself has an effect.
In King Dasharatha’s case, he had no bad intention; it was a genuine mistake. Yet, even mistakes bring consequences. Think of it this way: if we make a mistake while driving on the highway, even unintentionally, there may still be a penalty or harm caused. So, mistake simply means we must be very, very careful in how we act. Dharma teaches us that there is no “gray area” right action requires awareness and responsibility.
For children, you can simplify this message. Explain that whenever we act, we should think twice or even three times before doing something. Every action should be guided by dharma by awareness of what is right.
Also, many situations arise not only from this life but from past lives. The story of King Dasharatha and Shravan Kumar is part of a larger continuation of karma from previous births. Children may not fully grasp that idea, so it’s best to focus on the principle that even accidental actions carry lessons and results.
King Dasharatha’s mistake was that he did not pay full attention. If he could not clearly see, he should not have released the arrow. That lack of awareness brought its consequence a small but meaningful punishment, teaching the importance of mindfulness and dharma.
So, whether it’s Ravana, Kamsa, or even noble souls like Dasharatha all are accountable for their actions. The law of karma is universal, and it helps us learn, grow, and live more consciously.
Question 3
Vedanta teaches us to simplify our lives. But as we get older, we naturally take on more responsibilities: family, work, community, and so on. It often feels like the opposite of simplification.
For example, as we grow, we may have children or even grandchildren, and that adds more responsibilities and activities. At the same time, we might want to contribute more by helping with local charities, community projects, or spiritual organizations. All of these are good and meaningful, but they also make life busier.
So my question is: how do we find the right balance? How do we simplify our lives inwardly while still fulfilling our outer duties and continuing to grow and serve in our families and communities?
Vijayji’s Response
First of all, whether we believe it or not, the law is the law in every situation and every person’s circumstances are created by God at every moment. When a situation arises, it is given to us for a reason, and we must face it.
The first principle is that we must perform our obligatory duties. When a situation appears in our life, that is a sign that the duty connected to it has been given to us. If we try to avoid it, that unfinished duty will return to us in this life or in a future one.
For example, raising your children is your dharma. Your neighbors cannot do it for you. You are responsible for guiding them, watching over them, ensuring they go to school, teaching them values and dharma. Until they are about 17 or 18, it is your clear duty to guide and protect them.
But once that stage of life is complete, your duty ends. Vedanta says that we have no binding duty toward grandchildren. Of course, if grandchildren need your help, you can serve them out of love and seva, but without attachment.
I often say the same in my own life. I told Vivek-ji, “I will not visit your home or interfere in your household, but you are always welcome in mine.” This means once our primary responsibilities are fulfilled, we must gradually let go of involvement and attachment.
When we are younger and raising a family, we are busy working, earning, managing many responsibilities. But after the age of 55 or 60, life should begin to slow down. That is the time to turn more toward seva and spiritual practice. Service done in the right spirit reduces ego. As Pujya Swami Chinmayananda used to say, “The pressure of vasanas (mental impressions) decreases when the mind is engaged in selfless service.”
If we stay overly busy and take on unnecessary tasks in old age, we create stress, and stress clouds clear thinking. So, in later life, we must consciously simplify, study more scriptures, meditate, serve where needed, and live peacefully.
Practically speaking, if you are around fifty, this is the time to start planning. You cannot transform your life overnight. Begin planning for the next five to ten years and gradually reduce your worldly involvement and responsibilities. Ideally, by 55–60 you should move toward partial or full retirement, depending on your financial situation. If you need to work until 65 or 67, that’s fine but balance it with time for study, reflection, and meditation.
The key is systematic planning. As I always say, planning should be 90%, and execution 10%. Most people reverse it; they act without planning, and that’s why it becomes difficult to execute.
So, live with awareness, fulfill your duties when they come, serve without attachment, and plan for a peaceful, purposeful life ahead.
Question 4
I wanted to ask about the idea of boredom, not just how to avoid it, but how to understand and deal with it. It feels like boredom is something persistent in life; no matter how much we try to fill our time and space with activities, it still finds a way to return.
So how should we approach boredom from a Vedantic perspective? Are there strategies to work with it, or is it more about learning to accept it as part of life?
Vijayji’s Response
God has given us two main inner instruments: the mind and the intellect. These are our inner equipment, while the senses, eyes, ears, nose, etc. are our outer equipment. When we understand this properly, life becomes much clearer.
The mind can be guided and controlled by the intellect. But most people don’t live with that awareness. Without spiritual education or discipline, we tend to live carelessly and for about 95% of people, it’s actually the opposite: their intellect is controlled by their mind.
Think about it, we often say, “I’m not in the mood today.” Who creates that mood? The mind.
Who creates boredom? Again, the mind.
The mind has three main tendencies or flaws when left uncontrolled:
- It runs into the past bringing up regrets.
We keep thinking, “I should have done this… I shouldn’t have done that.”
The mind keeps replaying what’s already gone. - It worries about the future creating anxiety.
“What will happen next? Should I move cities? Change my job? Maybe I need a new relationship…”
I once heard a funny story a man told Gurudev, “I can’t live with my wife anymore. I think I need a second wife.” Gurudev replied, “That’s your choice.” The man’s friend said, “Gurudev, that would actually be his third wife!” (Everyone laughs.)
This shows how people keep searching for happiness somewhere else always in the future. - It stays agitated in the present.
If you leave the mind alone, it will always be restless jumping between regret, anxiety, or agitation.
So how do we deal with this? By invoking the intellect the power to plan, reason, and regulate.
Even Dale Carnegie said, “Live in day-tight compartments.” That means: focus only on what is in front of you today. Create a daily routine, a to-do list from morning to night. Include everything: what time to wake up, when to rest, when to work, even when to relax or watch a movie. There is nothing wrong with enjoyment, as long as it’s planned and balanced.
When life is unplanned, boredom easily enters. But when we live with structure and purpose, boredom disappears.
Personally, for over 35 years, I have written down my plan each night for the next day and followed it. There is no room for boredom because life is regulated positively.
Remember this doesn’t mean working constantly. You can (and should) schedule rest, quiet time, and recreation even time to do nothing. But plan it consciously. That way, your mind remains steady, and your day stays meaningful.
That is how you overcome boredom.
Question 5
If you were talking to a 10 year old, how would you explain to them the purpose of meditation and how to get started.
Vijayji’s Response
You don’t have to tell him exactly what we think. You tell him to sit quietly. That’s meditation. Nobody can stop the thoughts even a 90 year old nevermind a 9 or a 10 year old. Thoughts if you understand, thoughts are given by God. You don’t create the thought. I’ll reference the scriptures. There are 4 terms. Every thought from everyone is kept with the God which is called the Para. From there through our Vasana this thought comes and shines in front of our intellect which is called pasyati. Intellect gives to mind which is called Madhyama. From there it goes to speak/speech (vaikhari). Once we understand, meditation means that your intellect decides to stay quiet. That’s all the meditation is. Tell that child not to do any action for five minutes. He will be thinking about toys, food, etc. Thoughts we cannot ignore. By sitting for 5 min for 33 days then it becomes part and parcell of your life. That’s why it is important for everyone to sit quietly. Most of you are young, when you become 80-90 years old and go to nursing home and your physical body is weak, at that time, the best practice is that which we’ve been practicing for 20-30 years – this to stay quiet, smarana, think about God, think about those things
Question 6
What does Vijayji’s daily routine look like? How do you plan your day?
Vijayji’s Response
I begin my day at 4:00 a.m. I make a large pot of chai about 16 ounces with plenty of ginger, cinnamon, and cardamom. I grind the spices fresh, boil them together, and then freeze the mixture into four cubes. Each day, I use one cube to make my morning tea.
From 4:15 to 6:00 a.m., I listen to one lecture from my Guru while enjoying that tea. During this time, I also follow one śāstra for my own study not for teaching, but for personal reflection.
At 6:00 a.m., my wife joins me, and we share a second round of tea made using the same pot, so it’s a little lighter. From 6:15 to 7:00 a.m., we sit together and discuss spirituality, what we’ve learned, what we are practicing, and how to apply it in daily life.
By 7:00 a.m., I leave for the racket club. On the way, I stop by McDonald’s for a small coffee and a bagel, which I eat in the parking lot. During that quiet time, I may take one or two phone calls from people who wish to talk.
From 8:00 to 10:00 a.m., I am at the club playing tennis, lifting weights, or walking on the treadmill, depending on the day. I have not missed this routine Monday through Friday.
To me, this idea of weekdays versus weekends is a Western (Christian) notion. In Vedanta, there is no division. Dharma is the same all seven days. God did not create “Monday to Friday” and rest on Saturday or Sunday. Once you begin living a spiritual life, that distinction simply disappears.
From 10:00 to 11:00 a.m., I take a shower or sauna, and by 11:15 a.m., I return home. Between 11:15 and 12:00, I watch whatever my wife is watching just relaxing together.
At 12:00 p.m., I spend about ten minutes watching local news. I don’t need to know what’s happening all over the world; what affects my immediate surroundings is enough.
12:10 to 1:00 p.m. is lunch.
From 1:00 to 3:30 p.m., I go to my room. During this time, I may rest for 20–30 minutes, and then I prepare for my classes. I review notes, listen to YouTube talks by my favorite Swamis, and reflect on what I will teach.
Around 4:30 p.m., I have another cup of tea. Then, my wife and I watch or read something spiritual together. We make sure to engage in spiritual study three times a day.
At 6:00 p.m., I watch the local evening news, and from 7:30 to 9:00 p.m., I teach my classes. After that, I go to sleep.
Now, regarding my weekly rhythm:
- Monday, Wednesday, and Friday — I observe complete silence. I don’t speak to anyone, take calls, or involve myself in any worldly matters. Even if something breaks in the house, say, the air conditioner, I won’t handle it those days.
- Tuesday and Thursday — I attend to worldly duties and practical matters.
- Saturday — I dedicate to social duties.
- Sunday — I focus on overseeing our London Center here in Ontario.
Once you make a clear decision about how to live, it becomes effortless. There is no struggle, no pull from the world, just a steady, peaceful rhythm guided by Dharma and purpose.
Question 7
You mentioned that on certain days you remain completely in silence and don’t interact with anyone. I find that very inspiring, but also very difficult to apply in my own life.
When we have families spread across the world, especially in places like India, it becomes hard to maintain that kind of discipline. There’s constant communication, expectations, and sometimes judgment from others when we try to set those boundaries.
I understand that each of us has our own path and journey, and that we can express this respectfully. But how can we truly disconnect or observe silence when people around us don’t understand it and may even criticize us for it? How do we handle that gracefully?
Vijayji’s Response
Everyone’s situation is different, and age plays a major role in what level of detachment is possible.
When my parents passed away in their late seventies and early eighties, I realized something deeply, eventually, all these people will leave our lives one by one. So why not begin to gently detach myself from them now? It’s a difficult decision, but it requires conviction and firmness.
Ultimately, you must decide what you truly want, God or the world. Most people want both, but that’s not how one reaches God. To walk the spiritual path fully, your desire must be for God and God alone. That must be your first and highest priority.
If your goal is to please others, you will never find lasting happiness. You have to live your own life; no one else can live it for you. Don’t just think about it, do it.
Of course, this depends on your stage of life. If you’re around fifty and still have unmarried children, you will naturally have more worldly obligations visiting relatives, attending family events, and fulfilling your gṛhastha dharma. I would not give the same advice to someone just beginning their householder phase as I would to someone nearing retirement or vānaprastha.
Ask yourself: If God knows you, does it matter whether others know you or not?
And if you know God, does it matter whether you know others or not?
Focus only on what is truly necessary. Even emotions like anger have their right place. Every emotion created by God has a purpose, none are bad in themselves. For example, if a three-year-old child picks up a knife, anger is the right response because it protects. But most of us misuse anger. Someone simply asks, “How are you?” and we react sharply: “Why are you asking me that?” wasting our energy on trivialities.
Keep emotions like anger under your control; don’t carry them in your pocket all the time.
As for relationships, don’t worry about what people think. You may need to form a new circle of friends that suits your current stage of life. When your children are young, it’s natural to socialize with other parents. But later, those friendships may no longer serve your spiritual growth. Adjust accordingly there’s nothing wrong in that. Change is not selfish; it’s alignment with your dharma and your stage of life.
Nothing in life is permanent. As we mature, we must simplify our relationships. For example, when I turned fifty, I decided I had nothing more to do with third cousins. At sixty, I let go of second cousins. By seventy or eighty, I plan to have no attachments even to first cousins, brothers, or sisters. I am on a one-way journey and none of them can help me on that path.
So, learn to detach gradually, according to your stage of life. Live consciously, prioritize God, and let go of what no longer serves your higher purpose.
Question 8
I’ve been reflecting on the Guru’s grace, how the Guru quietly protects us, absorbs so much of our negativity, and removes obstacles that we often don’t even see. It’s humbling to realize how much the Guru endures out of love for the disciple’s growth. How can we, as students on this path, live in a way that reduces that burden? What inner attitude or daily practice helps us take more responsibility for our own purification, so the Guru’s compassion doesn’t have to carry so much of our weight?
Vijayji’s Response
I may be your fourth, fifth, or even sixth Guru. I do not know. But remember:
Don’t rest without work, and don’t work without rest.
Both are necessary in balance.
Also, don’t take on too much seva. Seva must come from the heart. When it becomes excessive, it turns into a burden rather than a joy. True seva is effortless; it flows naturally from love and surrender, not pressure or obligation.
Gurudev used to say, “Bring me my tea. I have earned it.” He never drank his morning tea until he had completed his early morning routine of study, reflection, and discipline. This teaches us the value of effort before reward.
Plan your work and work out your plan.
Have a plan for your daily work, your weekly goals, your yearly direction, even your five-year vision. And most importantly, live each day as if it were your last. Ask yourself, “If today were my final day, how would I want to spend it?” Start reflecting on that now the answers will naturally arise.
As for the Guru, it’s very simple. Whatever your Guru teaches, practice it as your sādhana to the best of your ability. No student can follow 100% because everyone’s situation and capacity are different. Just keep doing your part sincerely.
Remember, the Guru is not an individual. The Guru is an instrument of God.
God never appears to us directly; He sends the Guru as His messenger to guide us. Your Guru is a manifestation of your Iṣṭa-devatā the divine form you pray to. It is through your prayers and devotion that the Guru appears in your life.
The Guru’s role is to serve as your direct connection to God. In the Śrīmad Bhāgavatam, many characters attained liberation, but most did so gradually, through the process of evolution. Only Prince Arjuna was liberated directly by Bhagavān Himself.
So, understand the Guru as the channel through which God’s grace flows.
Work sincerely, rest consciously, plan wisely, and live with awareness that is the balance of spiritual life.